Phantoms Vs Spirits of Light

I gripped the splintering wooden broom with my sore blistered hands and began to sweep the dirt out of my master’s hut. It was the middle of another hot day and I was only half way through my HUGE chore list for cleaning up camp.
“Anakah!” boomed my master, “Where is my bow?!”
I sighed at least he called me by my name and not an insult, maybe he was in a good mood. I dropped the broom and grabbed a large hunting bow from under a towel and hurried over to the leader of my tribe.
“What took you?!” he bellowed his spit spattering on my face.
As you see, he is very impatient.
“I’m very sorry it took me so long.” I handed him the bow and when I dipped my head to him he smashed the wooden part of the bow on the back of my head. I collapsed from the impact and blacked out.


A cold drop of rain landed on my neck and rolled down my back, jolting me back to consciousness.
I still was in the middle of the camp and covered in mud. It was nearly dawn, my normal wake up time, on average I got 3 hours to 4 hours of sleep. I guess I should start one of my almost impossible tasks like picking up every single leaf in my village.
Then suddenly there was a loud knocking on the main entrance. Oh, did I mention my village is surrounded by a giant wooden wall ten feet tall. The guards opened the gate and a man with the world’s largest handle bar mustaches and goatee walked in wearing a big brown robe with two big lumps on his back.
“Morus, you know what to do.” The man said to my master as he stumbled in an undignified way from hi hut.
“It’s been a long time,” Chief Morus replied narrowing his eyes at the weird man, “Children line up on my right.”
Immediately the children ran over to Chief Morus and lined up. The man started to examine each child then he looked up at Chief Morus.
“What about her?” he pointed at me.
“Her?” Chief Morus said incredulously, “She’s my slave.”
“Come here child.” The man said to me. I approached him wearily.
“Do not hit her.” He said warningly to my master as he raised his fist.
Chief Morus growled.
The man started staring at me. I was starting to sweat under his gaze.
“I’ll take her.” He said after a while.
“WHAT!” Chief Morus yelled, “You can’t take my slave!”
“You know the drill.” The man said calmly. I was impressed, if Chief Morus yelled at any other person, they would probably cry.
Chief Morus balled his fists and gritted his teeth.
“NO!” he snapped, “She isn’t for sale!”
“I’m sure you would change your mind if you knew what I had to offer.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” Chief Morus lunged at the man in fury. The man easily side stepped my master’s attack.
“I’m not here to fight you.” The Man said evenly, he sounded like he was explaining two plus two equals four to a 13 year old. Chief Morus threw a fist at his face. The man grabbed it with a hand and kicked him in the leg, making my master collapse. And the man pinned him to the ground.
“Now would you like to know what I have to offer?” The man asked.
“Fine what is your offer?”
“Five gold bars, deal?”
Chief Morus thought a moment. “Deal.”
The man got off of my old master and walked over to me grinning. He looked funny with the big handle bar mustaches.
“Do you have any things to pack?” he asked when he reached me.
“No.”
“Alright, let’s leave right away.” The man said as he adjusted his big brown robe.
I followed him out the gate.
“So, what’s your name?” The man asked me.
“Anakah.”
“That’s a pretty name.” He winked at me kindly.
“What’s yours?”
“You can call me Master Lachoy.”
“Oh, so I’m your new slave?” I asked unhappily.
“Of course not!” Master Lachoy exclaimed, “You’re my apprentice!”
“An apprentice for what?” I raised an eye brow questioningly.
“You’ll see.” My new Master said mysteriously.
Suddenly Master Lachoy shoved me behind a wide swamp tree.
“What the…” I started indignantly but my master covered my mouth with his hand.
“Shhh,” Master Lachoy whispered urgently, “There is a phantom on the other side of this tree, so I want you to stay hidden.”
“Why?”
“Because it will try to kill you and you’re not trained to defend yourself.”
“Oh.”
At that Master Lachoy took off his robe reveling two long bronze swords and a red brown shirt and kakis.
I widened my eyes in surprise as my master leaped from behind the tree. So of course I had to look at the phantom. It looked like the upper half of a human skeleton covered with a thin layer of pale gray skin. It wore a black cloak with a black steel sword. I couldn’t see its face because it was covered by a black hood.
I watched in awe as Master Lachoy swung one of his swords at the phantom’s face a sliced the hood off. Without the hood I could see its ugly head; it had pale gray flesh and black pits for eyes. The phantom roared in rage and retaliated by swinging his sword at my master’s arm, but he blocked the blow with his other sword. The fight lasted a little longer then Master Lachoy stabbed one of his swords into the phantom’s chest. It collapsed and turned into red sand.
“Well that lasted longer than I expected,” He huffed and brushed off his clothes, “Shall we go?”
He grasped my hand and helped me up.
“Thanks.” I mumbled.
Master Lachoy smiled and dashed off a crossed the clearing.
I sighed and followed him into the swampy forest.



“Here it is.” Master Lachoy said and pointed at a large golden brown stone castle.
By now the sun had started to rise and wasalighting the sky with pinks and oranges.
“What is that?” I asked in amassment.
“That’s Castle Northern Hart.” My master said.
I gaped in amassment. “Wow.” I murmured.
“Northern Hart is at least one hundred thousand years old.”
“Wow,” I said again, still sounding stunned, “It’s still in very good shape!”
“Yes, you can thank the brownies for that.”
“The what’s!?”
“The brownies, you know… The little people that can fix anything and make it even better, does that ring a bell?”
“Nope, I don’t hear any bells ringing. Does that mean they can mend bones or heal any sickness?
“No, they can make food if you leave some ingredients out overnight in the kitchen and they can fix just about anything.”
“They sound really cool.”
He nodded in silent agreement.
I followed Master Lachoy up a cobblestone path, bouncing with excitement.
Well, I guess this is my new home.
Master Lachoy walked straight up to a gigantic pair of golden doors that were covered by intricate pictures of different warriors defeating evil creatures.

That is really really good! I love the idea so far!!!!!! You gave me a great story idea, I am going to start one like it, i probably won't finish it. But seriously, that's a really good story! You better continue it!!!!

loved the hook at the beginning!and LOVE the story so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay Thanks!!! I also wrote a random scene. Should I post that too?

I saw a striking woman with brown hair and green eyes facing a tall muscular sandy blonde man with piercing stormy gray eyes.
They were talking.
I took a step back, who are these people? I glanced at my arm; it was transparent, so apparently I’m dreaming. A small baby, maybe a couple days old was lying in a wooden cradle behind the couple. The child looked a lot like me.
I creep toward the two people.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?” The woman shrieked furiously.
The man put his hands up. “I would have told you, but we were so happy, I didn’t want to ruin our relationship.” He said simply.
The woman balled her hands into fists; than relaxed, tears streaking down her face.
“Lukus, you do realize I have to kill you, right?”
He sighed sadly. “I know… But can’t you just hide from your father till our daughter grows up?”
She ignored the question.
“Why didn’t I notice your eye color?” The woman asked herself miserably.
“Vanessa, you don’t care about her, do you?” Lukus furrowed his brow, clearly confused.
“I don’t like children.” Vanessa growled, glaring daggers at him.
“That’s not true! You’re just jealous because she will become even more powerful than you and I combined.” Lukus accused.
Vanessa ignored him again.
“Do you need me to spell it out? I… Don’t… Like… Children!” She said through gritted teeth.
Lukus took a step back. “What are we going to do with her?”
“There’s no ‘we’ in this.”
“At least help me name her.”
“NO! I can’t trust you anymore, demon!”
“Oh so you think you all high and mighty, now that you know the truth?”
A long silver knife slid down Vanessa’s sleeve; quick as a snake she slashed Lukus’ face open. His wound started at the top middle of his forehead going through his right eye lid and down to his chin. It looked sort of like a crescent moon.
Lukus gasped as blood started dripping into his mouth and on his shirt.
“Van- Van- Vanessa, why did you do this?”
Vanessa yelled with a crazed look in her eyes. “I haven’t failed you yet, Father.”
She whipped around and sprinted out the door.
Lukus sank to his knees, blood covering half his face and sobbed. He seemed to remember the baby after a while and crawled over to the cradle. Lukus placed his hand on the child.
“I name you, Anakah Blaze, in honor of the way your mother always blazed through her enemies.” He smiled teary eyed at baby Anakah then fainted from loss of blood.

This is a very random scene that happens much much later in the story.

Wow!!!! That is so cool! It might be an interesting proluge, too.

Thanks!! I never thought of that?

It's really good. I love the 'Brownies' at the beginning!

Thanks!!!

Welcome! Update it!!!!!!!

Definitly update it!

I saw a striking woman with brown hair and green eyes facing a tall muscular sandy blonde man with piercing stormy gray eyes.
They were talking.
I took a step back, who are these people? I glanced at my arm; it was transparent, so apparently I’m dreaming. A small baby, maybe a couple days old was lying in a wooden cradle behind the couple. The child looked a lot like me.
I creep toward the two people.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?” The woman shrieked furiously.
The man put his hands up. “I would have told you, but we were so happy, I didn’t want to ruin our relationship.” He said simply.
The woman balled her hands into fists; than relaxed, tears streaking down her face.
“Lukus, you do realize I have to kill you, right?”
He sighed sadly. “I know… But can’t you just hide from your father till our daughter grows up?”
She ignored the question.
“Why didn’t I notice your eye color?” The woman asked herself miserably.
“Vanessa, you don’t care about her, do you?” Lukus furrowed his brow, clearly confused.
“I don’t like children.” Vanessa growled, glaring daggers at him.
“That’s not true! You’re just jealous because she will become even more powerful than you and I combined.” Lukus accused.
Vanessa ignored him again.
“Do you need me to spell it out? I… Don’t… Like… Children!” She said through gritted teeth.
Lukus took a step back. “What are we going to do with her?”
“There’s no ‘we’ in this.”
“At least help me name her.”
“NO! I can’t trust you anymore, demon!”
“Oh so you think you all high and mighty, now that you know the truth?”
A long silver knife slid down Vanessa’s sleeve; quick as a snake she slashed Lukus’ face open. His wound started at the top middle of his forehead going through his right eye lid and down to his chin. It looked sort of like a crescent moon.
Lukus gasped as blood started dripping into his mouth and on his shirt.
“Van- Van- Vanessa, why did you do this?”
Vanessa yelled with a crazed look in her eyes. “I haven’t failed you yet, Father.”
She whipped around and sprinted out the door.
Lukus sank to his knees, blood covering half his face and sobbed. He seemed to remember the baby after a while and crawled over to the cradle. Lukus placed his hand on the child.
“I name you, Anakah Blaze, in honor of the way your mother always blazed through her enemies.” He smiled teary eyed at baby Anakah then fainted from loss of blood.

I really like that scene. It's really clever and well written!!!

Thanks!

The door made a low clicking sound, like big gears turning, and the doors swung open.
“Ah, Lachoy, you’ve returned.” A bored voice called from somewhere to my left.

Master and I walked through the golden doors and into a throne room. A red rug leads from the door to an elaborately decorated room. With candles hanging from the ten foot celling, glowed with fire. Hot wax dripped into little china bowls placed perfectly under each candle. Two seven foot copper statues of warriors in battle armor stood on either side of the entrance.
“So it seems you’ve finally found an apprentice?” a man with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes asked Lachoy.
“I have,” my master replied and gently pushed me forward, “This is Anakah.”
The blonde man stared at me for one second, and then he screamed, “THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON!!”
I stepped back then sputtered, “Wha-what did I do?!”
Suddenly, I heard a low creaking coming from someone; or something. I wiped around in time to see the copper statues stepping off of their pedestals. Now I’ve seen it all! I thought. The copper warriors raised their weapons at me and their eyes glowed bright blue. Then their eyes suddenly changed to black and the smell of rotting flesh filled the air.
“That can’t be good.” Master Lachoy stated bluntly.
I took a step back. Both of the copper warriors stepped towards me, their coal black eyes expressionless. I swallowed a scream of terror as the warriors lunged at me. Without even realizing what I was doing, my hand grabbed one of my master’s bronze swords. One of the copper warrior statues was holding a nine foot copper spear, while the other held an eight foot sword. The one with the spear threw it with deadly accuracy at my heart. I held my sword perfectly straight at arms’ length and split the copper spear in half easily. The force of the blow nearly knocked me off of my feet. The spear copper warrior looked as stunned as a copper statue could look as the halfs of its spear hit the ground. I smiled murderously at it and leapt for its copper throat. The copper warrior didn’t stand a chance. While I was still in the air, I lifted the bronze sword to one side and swung it like a bat at the copper warrior’s neck. The bronze sword cut through its neck like it was made of butter. The copper warrior’s head slid off its neck as I landed onto the tile floor. I saw the other copper warrior bring its eight foot sword down on my head. I squeezed my eyes closed; expecting to feel my head be split open, but I never felt any pain. I slowly opened my eyes and glanced above my head. To my surprise, my hands had instinctively raised my sword above my head to block the blow. My arms, used to hard labor were shaking from trying to hold the sword still. I thought my sword was bending from the stress of blocking a two ton copper warrior from crushing me to the ground. I focused my blurring vision on my sword. Then I noticed that it was the copper warrior’s sword that was bending. Suddenly there was a loud crack and the tip of the copper sword snapped off. The copper warrior brought it’s sword up to its face to examine it. Seizing the copper statue’s moment of distraction I lunged for its throat, hoping desperately for an easy victory. But sadly, the statue realized what was happening and smacked me out of the air with its broken sword. The blade cut through my already tattered clothes, and left a long gash the running down my side. I plummeted towards the hard tile floor. I closed my eyes and accidentally dropped my master’s bronze sword. I hit the ground with the force of cannon, but to me it felt like hitting a giant cushion. But instead of bouncing, I sunk into the floor.

I love the end of that! It is really cool!

Thank you!!

Welcome! Please update it soon, its really good!

This is the most updated I have. I also added a lot at the end... Enjoy!!  





A cold drop of rain landed on my neck and rolled down my back, jolting me back to consciousness.
I still was in the middle of the camp and covered in mud. It was nearly dawn, my normal wake up time, on average I got 3 to 4 hours of sleep. I guess I should start one of my almost impossible tasks like picking up every single leaf in my colony’s camp.
Then suddenly there was a loud knocking on the main entrance. Oh, did I mention my colony is enclosed by a giant wooden fortress ten feet tall. The guards opened the gate and a man with a red handle bar mustaches and goatee walked in wearing a big brown robe with two big lumps on his back.
“Morus, you know what to do.” The man said to my master; as Morus stumbled in an undignified way from his hut.
“It’s been a long time,” Chief Morus replied narrowing his eyes at the weird man, “Children line up on my right.”
Immediately the children of my colony ran over to Chief Morus and lined up. The man started to examine each child then he looked up at Chief Morus.
“What about her?” he pointed at me with a surprisingly scared finger.
“Her?” Chief Morus said incredulously, “She’s my slave.”
“Come here child.” The man said to me.
I approached him wearily.
“Do not hit her.” He said warningly to my master as he raised his fist.
Chief Morus growled.
The man started staring at me. I was starting to sweat under his gaze.
“I’ll take her.” He said after a while.
“WHAT!” Chief Morus yelled, “You can’t take my slave!”
“You know the drill.” The man said calmly. I was impressed, if Chief Morus yelled at any other person like that, they would probably cry.
Chief Morus balled his fists and gritted his teeth.
“NO!” he snapped, “She isn’t for sale!”
“I’m sure you would change your mind if you knew what I had to offer.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” Chief Morus lunged at the man in fury. The man easily side stepped my master’s attack.
“I’m not here to fight you.” The Man said evenly, he sounded like he was explaining two plus two equals four to a 13 year old. Chief Morus threw a fist at his face. The man grabbed it with a hand and kicked him in the leg, making my master collapse. And the man pinned him easily to the ground.
“Now would you like to know what I have to offer?” The man asked.
“Fine what is your offer?”
“Five gold bars, deal?”
Chief Morus thought a moment. “Deal.”
The man got off of my old master and walked over to me grinning. He looked funny with the handle bar mustaches.
“Do you have any things to pack?” he asked when he reached me.
“No.”
“Alright, let’s leave right away.” The man said as he adjusted his big brown robe.
I followed him out the gate.
“So, what’s your name?” The man asked me.
“Anakah.”
“That’s a pretty name.” He winked at me kindly.
“What’s yours?”
“You can call me Master Lachoy.”
“Oh, so I’m your new slave?” I asked unhappily.
“Of course not!” Master Lachoy exclaimed, “You’re my apprentice!”
“An apprentice for what?” I raised an eye brow questioningly.
“You’ll see.” My new Master said mysteriously.
Suddenly Master Lachoy shoved me behind a wide swamp tree.
“What the…” I started indignantly but my master covered my mouth with his hand.
“Shhh,” Master Lachoy whispered urgently, “There is a phantom on the other side of this tree, so I want you to stay hidden.”
“Why?”
“Because it will try to kill you and you’re not trained to defend yourself.”
“Oh.”
At that Master Lachoy took off his robe reveling two long bronze swords and a red brown shirt and kakis.
I widened my eyes in surprise as my master leaped from behind the tree. So of course I had to look at the phantom. It looked like the upper half of a human skeleton covered with a thin layer of pale gray scaly skin. It wore a black billowing cloak and a black steel sword. I couldn’t see its face because it was covered by a black torn hood.
I watched in awe as Master Lachoy swung one of his swords at the phantom’s face and sliced the hood off. Without the hood on, I could see its ugly head; it had pale gray flesh and black pits for eyes. The phantom roared in rage and retaliated by swinging his sword at my master’s arm, but he blocked the blow with his other sword. The fight lasted a little longer then Master Lachoy stabbed one of his swords into the phantom’s chest. It collapsed and turned into red sand.
“Well that lasted longer than I expected,” He huffed and brushed off his clothes, “Shall we go?”
He grasped my hand and helped me up.
“Thanks.” I mumbled no one has ever done that to me before.
Master Lachoy smiled and dashed off a crossed the clearing.
I sighed and followed him deeper into the swampy forest.



“Here it is.” Master Lachoy said and pointed at a large golden brown stone castle.
By now the sun had started to rise and was casting pinks and oranges a crossed the sky.
“What is that?” I asked in amassment.
“That’s Castle Northern Hart.” My master said.
I gaped in amassment. “Wow.” I murmured.
“Northern Hart is at least one hundred thousand years old.”
“Wow,” I said again, still sounding stunned, “It’s still in very good shape!”
“Yes, you can thank the brownies for that.”
“The what’s!?”
“The brownies, you know… The little people that can fix anything and make it even better, does that ring a bell?”
“Nope, I don’t hear any bells ringing. Does that mean they can mend bones or heal any sickness?
“No, but they can make food if you leave some ingredients out overnight in the kitchen and they can fix just about anything.”
“They sound really cool.”
He nodded in silent agreement.
I followed Master Lachoy up a cobblestone path, bouncing with excitement.
Well, I guess this is my new home.
Master Lachoy walked straight up to a gigantic pair of golden doors that were covered by intricate pictures of different warriors defeating ugly evil creatures. He lifted his hand and made a star in the air. The door made a low clicking sound, like big gears turning, and the doors swung open.
“Ah, Lachoy, you’ve returned.” A bored voice called from somewhere to my left.

Master and I walked through the golden doors and into a throne room. A red rug leads from the door to an elaborately decorated room. With candles hanging from the ten foot celling, glowed with fire. Hot wax dripped into little china bowls placed perfectly under each candle. Two seven foot copper statues of warriors in battle armor stood on either side of the entrance.
“So it seems you’ve finally found an apprentice?” a man with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes asked Lachoy.
“I have,” my master replied and gently pushed me forward, “This is Anakah.”
The blonde man stared at me for one second, and then he screamed, “THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON!!”
I stepped back then sputtered, “Wha-what did I do?!”
Suddenly, I heard a low creaking coming from someone; or something. I wiped around in time to see the copper statues stepping off of their pedestals. Now I’ve seen it all! I thought. The copper warriors raised their weapons at me and their eyes glowed bright blue. Then their eyes suddenly changed to black and the smell of rotting flesh filled the air.
“That can’t be good.” Master Lachoy stated bluntly.
I took a step back. Both of the copper warriors stepped towards me, their coal black eyes expressionless. I swallowed a scream of terror as the warriors lunged at me. Without even realizing what I was doing, my hand grabbed one of my master’s bronze swords. One of the copper warrior statues was holding a nine foot copper spear, while the other held an eight foot sword. The one with the spear threw it with dead accuracy at my heart.
I held my sword perfectly straight at arms’ length and split the copper spear in half easily. The force of the blow nearly knocked me off of my feet. The spear copper warrior looked as stunned as a copper statue could look as the halves of its spear hit the ground. I smiled murderously at it and leapt for its copper throat. The copper warrior didn’t stand a chance. While I was still in the air, I lifted the bronze sword to one side and swung it like a bat at the copper warrior’s neck. The bronze sword cut through its neck like it was made of butter. The copper warrior’s head slid off its neck as I landed onto the tile floor. I saw the other copper warrior bring its eight foot sword down on my head. I squeezed my eyes closed; expecting to feel my head be split open, but I never felt any pain. I slowly opened my eyes and glanced above my head. To my surprise, my hands had instinctively raised my sword above my head to block the blow. My arms, used to hard labor were shaking from trying to hold the sword still. I thought my sword was bending from the stress of blocking a two ton copper warrior from crushing me to the ground. I focused my blurring vision on my sword. Then I noticed that it was the copper warrior’s sword that was bending.
Suddenly there was a loud crack and the tip of the copper sword snapped off. The copper warrior brought it’s sword up to its face to examine it. Seizing the copper statue’s moment of distraction I lunged for its throat, hoping desperately for an easy victory.
But sadly, the statue realized what was happening and smacked me out of the air with its broken sword. The blade cut through my already tattered clothes, and left a long gash the running down my side. I plummeted towards the hard tile floor. I closed my eyes and accidentally dropped my master’s bronze sword. I hit the ground with the force of cannon, but to me it felt like hitting a giant cushion. But instead of bouncing, I sunk into the floor.
If you’ve ever sunk through a floor you know what I mean by it feels a lot like an elevator minus the feeling of falling through mud.
Thunk! I landed flat on my back in some random room. By looks of it I guessed I was right under the entryway. I got to my feet unsteadily and tried to get my bearings. The room was dank, dark, and smelled like it was full of dried fruit. I started toward toe door. Something caught my bare blistered foot making me fall.
“You fought well,” The gentle voice of my master said as I sat up. He helped me up. “I didn’t know your tribe taught slaves how to fight.”
“Oh they didn’t. I taught myself.” I said with a small smile.
“Oh, you did now?” We walked in silence for a couple minutes.
"Where are you taking me, Master?" I asked curiously as Master Lachoy lead me down some long winding halls and down a few flights of stairs. The air soon became musty and smelled of long dead creatures.
"The dungeon," My master replied after a while, "watch your head." He warned as I nearly miss getting clubbed by a torch.
"May I ask why I'm being sent to the dungeon? What crime have I committed?" I asked slightly nervous. Back at my tribe, if I were to question anyone about anything I would get a serious beating. Let's just say life for a slave wasn't fair at all.
"You haven't done anything wrong. But Head master is just being careful." My master answered.
"Careful about what? I asked starting to get exasperated with his vague answers.
"Your bloodline."
"My what?!"
"Bloodline, the blood of your ancestors. “Master Lachoy stopped by the last black barred cell and brought out a set of keys. Quickly choosing a random one he unlocked the door.
"In you go." He said with a fake smile on his face.
"Wait," I said, "how do you know about my ancestors? At my tribe I didn't know anything about them or where I came from or who Anakah Wehn is!" I'm practically shouting now.
Master Lachoy looked at me with pity. "I have to hang you by your wrists now. He said ignoring my question. I follow him into the cell in defeat. I let him put the hand cuffs on me and crank me into the air with the chains. He stopped when I was a foot of the ground.
"Master, am I going to die here?" I ask the man who freed me from slavery only to kill me in a dungeon.
"Hopefully not. I'll be coming down here to feed and water you twice a day," He said trying too hard to be optimistic, "farewell for now Anakah Wehn."
"Goodbye...” I say not looking him in the eye. My master turned and left leaving me to my silent torture. As soon as he was out of sight I broke down in tears, screaming my agony, frustration and misery into the stinky darkness. Crying all the tears I couldn't cry while in my tribe, because crying wasn't allowed. It felt unbelievably good to let my emotions spill out after all my years of slavery. I feel my eye lids getting heavy and give into sleep.


"The war has begun again!" A hoarse voice cried happily in a language unfamiliar to any person that never went to the Underworld.
"Yessss yesss! I will prove my loyalty to the King!!" Another voice hissed in the same language. A chorus of arguments met the second voice's statement.
"Silence!" A commanding voice squealed in a different, older sounding tongue, “We must act wisely. We can't fail our King or we'll surely perish. The one we seek has been finally found!" Its shriek echoed eerily of the walls of the high roofed room.
"The one we seek is dead. Our king told us." The first voice growled in the Commanding Voice’s language.
The Commanding Voice gave a shrill bone chilling laugh.
"I sensed it this morning. That's why I tried to take it while it was vulnerable and weak."
All the phantoms and demons started chanting. "The one we seek is alive! The one we seek is alive!"

I woke with a start. What a weird dream. Not realizing where I was I started to try to fight the chains holding me midair. Then it hit me. I'm chained up in a dungeon. Suddenly I start to feel fear coursing through my veins and a throbbing urge to fight. Then I have a flash back to the day before, to the time I saw my first phantom. I got these exact feelings before when I got close I start to shiver violently. A lot of phantoms are coming I notice.
The sounds of footsteps on stone nearly make me scream. Then I see a torch bobbing toward me. My heartbeat quickens as a figure appears and brings out a set of keys and unlocks the door to my cell.
"How did you sleep last night?" The all too familiar voice of my master asks, then he notices me violently shaking, “you’re not afraid of the dark are you?" He jokes half-heartedly.
"Th...They’re coming..." I choke out my fear nearly paralyzing me.
Master raises an eye brow. "Who's coming?"
"Ph...Ph...Phantoms!!" I say hoarsely.
My master looked concerned and alarmed.
"How do you know?"
"I can feel them. Can't you?"
Master Lachoy's eyes widen.
"Are you sure?"
"P...positive."
Master Lachoy wipes around and sprints back up the stairs leaving the door to my cell wide open and the food he was carrying on the floor. I can escape! I realize, but wait he still has the keys... I frown. Early morning light shines through my barred window. My fear starts to get worse, with every second the phantoms are getting closer; closing in on their prey.
Then I see them. A huge herd of black robed figures with gleaming black steel swords raced towards Castle Northern Hart. I strain to see more but my metal hand cuffs were rubbing my skin raw. I look again and see two warriors charge out of the castle yelling battle cries. One wearing a familiar brown robe and cloak, while the other wore a deep blue robe a cloak. Then I realize who the two warriors were. The brown one Master Lachoy and the other Headmaster. The phantoms badly outnumbered my master and Head master, so the odds of Master and Head master winning were pretty slim. The phantoms attacked firsts bowling the two warriors over and slicing viciously with their swords.
I had to help them! My Master and Headmaster were dying. I didn't care if they threw me into the dungeon after I saved them from the copper statues. I had to help fight! I jerked my arms in all directions trying to free myself from the chains. I heard Master Lachoy cry in pain and Headmaster shriek as a sword caught his side. THEIR GOING TO DIE!!! I scream in my mind. I gripped the chains and threw myself forward only to be brought crashing into the wall.
"COME ON!!" I cry as I hear more cries of pain from my Master and Headmaster. In image of a child gored by a wild bog beast filled my mind. I remember how I was to slow to save the kid's life. The sad memory gave me determination. I was not going to let the guy who freed my from slavery be killed like this.
At this I found an extra boost of strength threw myself forward again, and this time the chains were ripped out of the solid stone wall and I fell to the ground, panting. I bent the metal of my wrists and raced up the stairs and long winding halls to the entryway and spotted one of my Master's swords lying on the ground. I grabbed it in my right hand and pushed open the two giant doors and charged into battle. Like an experienced swordsman I blocked, slashed, and sliced. I cut down more phantoms than I thought was possible. A couple phantoms got lucky and hit me with their swords, but never getting much time before they were sent to the Underworld again.
I spotted Headmaster pinned to the ground by the sword of a particularly big phantom. I leapt behind it and ran my sword clean through it. I hear headmaster sigh in relief as the phantom slumped over to one side. I jumped away from it and looked for my Master. As I wiped sweat from my forehead I saw Master Lachoy take a flying leap and land on the back of a big phantom. Another phantom sneaked behind him and stabbed him.
I screamed in rage and felt myself start to be lifted into the air, a column of energy surround me. I balled my hands into white knuckled fists then opened my hands, the column of energy pulsed out in all directions vaporizing every dark creature it touched. Within seconds every phantom that had come to Castle Northern Hart was dead.
I flopped back down onto the ground. I tried to get up but felt so weak my legs couldn't support the rest of my body, so I did the only other logical option. I dragged myself over the red sand type powder of phantom remains and over to my Master. I was too late. He's dead. I lightly rested my head on his side and cried. Master Lachoy had been the only person who had ever been nice to me. A hand rested on my head.
"Why are you crying?" A gentle voice asked.
"He's dead! My Master is dead because of me!!" I sobbed.
"Why do you say that?" The gentle voice asked me patiently.
"I couldn't get free fast enough..." I trailed off miserably, “I’ll go back to the dungeon and hang by my thumbs for the rest of my life." I decided.
"What if you actually saved him?" The voice asked gently. This time I looked up to see who was talking.
"YOU’RE ALIVE!!" I yelled in surprise as I looked in to my Master's brown eyes.
“Yes, I am. Thanks to you," he smiled kindly, “now can you help me up. I need to stop my bleeding."
"Yes Master." I said with a smile. On our slow but steady way back to Northern hart, Headmaster joined us.
"How did you free yourself from the dungeon?" He asked pointedly.
"I think this proves that she is going to fight on our side." Master Lachoy declared boldly.
"We still must be careful not to expose her to any darkness. But I guess I will allow you to train her in our ways; because she did just save both of our lives." Headmaster agreed carefully.
My Master nodded in agreement. Then he turned to me and repeated his conversation with Headmaster as if I hadn't heard anything. I just played along with it even though I already knew the good news.

It is really good!!! One thing though, you should mention how shocked they were at her talent, and can you describe what the phantoms look like? And you seemed to use Master in the battle scene a lot, maybe give him a nick name?

Okay I could call him just Lachoy? It will change eventually when Anakah starts to forget how slaves and servants are supposed to speak.

Thanks for pointing that out!!

Yeah, also master and maybe use descriptive words, the man that saved her from slavery or something, describing something he has done that the audience knows about, or what he looks like, like the purple robed phantom fighter or something, i forgot his robe color

I think it says in my story he has either red or light brown hair and brown eyes and a brown rope. But yueah it does need more descriptive words, well FYI I was typing it a 1 in the morning...